dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
