hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
