I want to make a zoo with you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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