I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
