I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
