This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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