Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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