he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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