How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
