oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
