The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
