what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
