just come out here and I will go home with you...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
