i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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