We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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