hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Randomize
