i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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