is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
false alarm. still invincible.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need water and some morals
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
