i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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