Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
