kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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