I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i out mim tonsoeep
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
