is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
