SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
