obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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