Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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