I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
