She said her name was "party"
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
