My friends, they love my intelligence
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
