my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
