Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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