what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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