hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
