I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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