yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
