BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
