Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the condom got lost in my hair
my shit smells like andre
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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