If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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