This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
