I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
