I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
