: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
