I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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