jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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