i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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