She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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