He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize