he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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