just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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