i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
