he wants to bone in the snuggie
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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