White coat. Heels.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
