I wish life had little blips of pornography
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Blood and glitter go together right?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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