Do you still have your period?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
